If you’ve been around Christianity for any period of time you probably know being offended is not something that God is fond of. Offense is a VERY dangerous thing. It’s so dangerous I actually wrote an entire blog post on it here.
I think sometimes we can be blind to the fact that we are offended. The enemy comes in and deceives us into thinking we are fine when in fact deep down we are holding offense against a person, a movement, or even a church. I decided to write up three easy ways to detect offense in your life. Please understand this is not a be all end all list, but, I think it’s a helpful test to begin to peel back the deception that can hold us captive.
1. What they did is like a song stuck on repeat.
This may seem silly, but let’s be real – we’ve all dealt with this. Picture this: You’re scrolling through your news feed and see a status you don’t agree with, you decide to comment your opposing viewpoint and suddenly an argument breaks out. They clearly should conform to your point of view, but they don’t and all too soon the conversation turns hostile. They start calling you names, you start calling them names, and finally, the conversation ends with you upset at that person and everyone on the post that sticks up for their point of view.
You go on about your day and try to pretend that you’re fine, but deep inside you keep replaying the conversation in your head. You think to yourself things like “Oh I should have said this!”, “They are so stupid I can’t believe they think they got to me.”, and “Next time they say something to me I’m going to do this.” You catch yourself thinking like this for days. The things they said and the things you should have said keep replaying in your mind over and over and over, until you feel like you are going insane!
The exact scenario may be different for you, but if you find yourself playing some wrong done to you over and over in your head, this is a good sign that offense has slipped in and is torturing your mind.
2. You assume the worst about them.
Now let’s say that the same thing happened above, but not to the same extreme. You didn’t get into an all-out war on social media, but there was a little skirmish. Maybe a friend just posted something you didn’t agree with and you commented your viewpoints but there was no name calling. However, you are still a little set back by the fact that they posted something like that.
A few day’s later they send you a text that reads: “Hey! How are you?” Normally, this wouldn’t be weird, and in reality, they are probably just checking in and haven’t thought twice about the little scrimmage you had. You catch yourself thinking “OMG, why are they texting me? What do they want? Are they trying to push their stupid thought on me again? Do I text back? Maybe I should just leave it for a while. No wait, I’ll just respond with my thoughts on our conversation the other day and let them know they are still wrong.” After all this deliberation you decide to send “Hey. Good.” that way they know you are on to their “game.”
Assuming the worst about someone like this is an easy way to identify offense. Even if you have convinced yourself what they did wasn’t a big deal, if you find yourself always assuming they are being a jerk, you are probably offended.
3. What they did is all you talk about.
Now for the big one. If a certain person, church, or movement ALWAYS seems to come up in conversation (or on your social media posts) in a negative light, you are probably harboring offense.
I’ve been in and around ministry now for close to a decade. I’ve seen a lot of people get hurt by a lot of different things, some serious and some that I have thought to myself “come on really?” (Side note here if you are looking for the perfect person, church, or movement you will never find it. People are people regardless of if they are a pastor or not and revival or a move of God doesn’t produce perfect people. We are all just trying our best to follow Jesus and love each other and if you are not willing to give grace and forgive someone just because they are in leadership you may need to check your own heart, but that’s a topic for a different blog post.)
All this being said if you find your self constantly posting articles, scriptures, and messages against a specific church, movement, or person or if you find yourself posting passive aggressive things hoping someone specific reads it, you probably have offense you need to get rid of.
In conclusion
Friends, this time of year it becomes so easy to be offended. Someone didn’t get you the right gift, or forgot to wish you a Merry Christmas, the list goes on and on. I highly encourage you live above that. Don’t allow what someone else did to rob you of your joy. Remember if you can be offended you will be offended, it’s only a matter of time. Lyndsay and I made the decision a long time ago not to allow ourselves to be offended no matter what. Do we get hurt sometimes? Sure. However, when we do we address it. We don’t harbor offense and because of that, we feel free, joyful, and full of love. Love you all!
“Never hold a grudge or try to get even, but plan your life around the noblest way to benefit others. Do your best to live as everybody’s friend.” -Romans 12: 17-18 The Passion Translation